Who Controls the Butter?

6 11 2009

by: Kevin Connors

On Sundays

Who has control of the butter? That’s an important answer to know as you go through life. Myron Rolle is a guy who in 20 years everyone will know: from high society executives with their perfect posture and thorough knowledge of fine wines, to the guys on Sundays who never quite make it to the stadiums because they got to the parking lot at 8AM for a 4PM game. Rolle is our generation’s scholar-athlete. Despite the fact he is still only an amateur, his demonstrated athletic ability as a college football player at Florida State University dovetailed with his academic success can only leave us wondering one question: what’s next? Enrolled in St. Edmund at the University of Oxford, Rolle is studying for a master’s degree in medical anthropology—which essentially translates to “Bro! This dude is really smart…he’s studying how guys like you and me are affected by health care and all that shizz-nit.” Well let me tell you that, “dude” this guy really is THAT smart. With desires to one day be a neurosurgeon, Rolle now finds himself in one of the most elite clubs our world knows as a Rhodes Scholar. Bill Clinton’s lawyer? Yeah, he was one. Oh, and Bill Clinton? He was one too back in ’68. The guy who invented that little GPS you use in your car? That was made by Ivan Getting, a Rhodes Scholar in 1933. The list goes on and on, from the former president of Pakistan, Wasim Sajjad, to the presidents of some of the most prestigious universities in the world. The Rhodes Scholar alumni list reads like a Who’s Who in the world of geniuses.

Our parents’ Myron Rolle was a guy named Bill Bradley.


Case and point, the commencement speaker at my graduation this past spring was Chris Matthews, a popular political commentator and TV show host of Hardball on MSNBC. Matthews started off his speech by explaining to us this idea of “who has control of the butter” with a story about player turned Senator Bill Bradley…

“Do you guys know who Bill Bradley is? Well, let’s just say he’s everything you’d want to be and more. So here’s Bill one evening at a dinner at the White House. The waiter is filling water glasses and passing out bread and butter. Bill says to the guy, ‘Hey you, waiter. Get me some more butter, this just isn’t enough.’ To which the waiter says, ‘I’m sorry, each guest only receives one serving of butter.’ Nearly hysterical Bradley then goes on to ask, ‘Son, do you know who I am?’ A bit startled at the challenge the waiter says ‘No, I’m sorry sir, but I don’t.’ Leaning back with an assured grin Bradley then begins, ‘I’m Bill Bradley. I was an All-American basketball player at Princeton and got an Olympic gold before even graduating. Then I turned down the NBA to be a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford. After finishing that up I came back to the US, played for 10 seasons with the Knicks and won two championships. Then I retired and became a senator. Oh yeah, and then I ran for President.’ Taken aback a bit by the aggressiveness in Bradley’s short outburst, the waiter took a few moments to gather himself then returned the brazen stare and said, ‘I don’t think you know who I am.’ ‘Well, who ARE you?’ Bradley asked. The waiter grinned, ‘I’m the guy in charge of the butter. One per person.” And with that, the waiter walked away.

Myron Rolle is a guy who knows who’s in control of the butter at all times. It’s something to aspire to become but there’s just no shame in looking at a guy like that and thinking, “Damn, what a great guy. Best of luck, Myron.”

Future NFLer and Rhode Scholar Myron Rolle – NYTimes

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